The morning was cool and crisp. Fenton rode his bike down the big hill toward the school. Fluffy silver clouds overhead promised rain or snow to come. Fenton’s breath puffed in the air as he zipped over the chilly concrete path.
Where might this passage benefit from the use of a more specific description instead of a more general one?
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Responses
Instead of “cool and crisp” the writer might choose “chilly and bright.”
Instead of “cool and crisp” the writer might choose “chilly and bright.”
Instead of “rain or snow” the writer might choose “storms.”
Instead of “rain or snow” the writer might choose “storms.”
Instead of “bike” the writer might choose “Schwinn Thrasher.”
Instead of “bike” the writer might choose “Schwinn Thrasher.”
Instead of “concrete” the writer might choose “slick.”
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The best option for where the passage might benefit from a more specific description is:
Instead of “bike” the writer might choose “Schwinn Thrasher.”
This change adds specificity by naming a particular type of bike, which enhances the imagery and gives the reader a clearer picture of what Fenton is riding.
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