Topic: Write a movie review.

Based on the 1980’s television series characters created by Ross Bagdasarian, Alvin and the Chipmunks is delightful family comedy that audiences are sure to enjoy. Alvin, Simon, and Theodore are sure to bring back childhood memories for parents and their modernized pop-scene music and dancing will instantly create young, new fans.
Dave, a failing songwriter, discovers talking chipmunks in his home. Initially he kicks them out, but soon discovers that they are a harmonious singing trio. Dave strives to provide a normal stable home life for the overnight stars with rules, bedtimes, and chores. However the money-hungry music producer Ian sabotages their relationship by spoiling the chipmunks and promising a life of luxury, convincing them that Dave is a hindrance (despite the fact that he is only looking out for the boys). After a grueling concert tour, the chipmunks realize that their previous rules and bedtimes were there for a reason and that Dave’s intentions were sincere unlike Ian who is only using them to line his own pockets and is completely insensitive to their needs. In the end, Dave and the chipmunks work together to reunite and become a family once again.
The three, furry, digitally animated chipmunk characters were not only cute, but also very entertaining with their flawless acting. The actors playing Dave and Ian also receive two thumbs up as they perform their roles magnificently, effectively contributing to delivering the film’s messages. However, Claire (Dave’s ex-girlfriend and neighbor) seems to be very amateur and delivers only a decent awkward performance.
In addition to being very entertaining, the movie also teaches very valuable lessons of the importance of discipline as the chipmunks discover the importance of Dave’s rules, the dangers of fame and fortune as the chipmunks finally begin to see Ian’s selfishness and corruption, and that a stable family is everything—without Dave, they cannot enjoy their success. The well-written script certainly presents its messages in an easy to understand format for kids, its intended audience.
Definitely worth seeing! Your kids will love it, and I’m sure you’ll be quite fond of the heart-warming chipmunks also.

2 answers

Very good.
Based on the 1980’s television series characters created by Ross Bagdasarian, Alvin and the Chipmunks is delightful family comedy that audiences are sure to enjoy. Alvin, Simon, and Theodore are sure to bring back childhood memories for parents (COMMA)and their modernized pop-scene music and dancing will instantly create young, new fans.

SKIP LINE TO INDICATE NEW PARAGRAPH.

Dave, a failing songwriter, discovers talking chipmunks in his home. Initially he kicks them out, but soon discovers that they are a harmonious singing trio. Dave strives to provide a normal (COMMA) stable home life for the overnight stars with rules, bedtimes,(NO COMMA) and chores. However the money-hungry music producer (COMMA) Ian (COMMA) sabotages their relationship by spoiling the chipmunks and promising a life of luxury, (NEW SENTENCE?) convincing them that Dave is a hindrance (despite the fact that he is only looking out for the boys). After a grueling concert tour, the chipmunks realize that their previous rules and bedtimes were there for a reason and that (NEW SENTENCE) Dave’s intentions were sincere (COMMA) unlike Ian who is only using them to line his own pockets and is completely insensitive to their needs. In the end, Dave and the chipmunks work together to reunite and become a family once again.

The three, furry, digitally(HYPHEN)animated chipmunk characters were not only cute, but also very entertaining with their flawless acting. The actors playing Dave and Ian also receive two thumbs up as they perform their roles magnificently, effectively contributing to delivering the film’s messages. However, Claire (Dave’s ex-girlfriend and neighbor) seems to be very amateur and delivers only a decent(LY?) awkward performance.

In addition to being very entertaining, the movie also teaches very valuable lessons of the importance of discipline as (NEW SENTENCE) the chipmunks discover the importance of Dave’s rules, the dangers of fame and fortune as (NEW SETENCE) the chipmunks finally begin to see Ian’s selfishness and corruption, and that a stable family is everything — without Dave, they cannot enjoy their success.

The well-written script certainly presents its messages in an easy to understand format for kids, its intended audience.

Definitely worth seeing! Your kids will love it, and I’m sure you’ll be quite fond of the heart-warming chipmunks also.

The review is good, but your sentences are often very long, so the reader tends to get lost in them — at least I do. You also need to review your use of commas.

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_comma.html
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_commaproof.html

In the future, if nobody is available to proofread your work, you can do this yourself. After writing your material, put it aside for a day — at least several hours. (This breaks mental sets you might have that keep you from noticing problems.) Then read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)

If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other persons are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.

Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.

I hope this helps. Thanks for asking.