Title: Video Games

Topic announcement: Sports video game
Introduction: It is fun to play video games in sports, because it is very challenging and it excites the person who will play for it.
Thesis statement: While genres for sports video games can get quite specific, there are few main genres most video game stores use to categorize sports video games: racing, basketball, and soccer.

Body Paragraphs
Racing
Characteristic 1: This game is known for racing using any types of car.
Example 1: Ferrari and Corvette are the examples of race cars in racing video games.
Characteristic 2: Racing video games are known for competing using any types of vehicles like cars and bikes.
Example 2: Real Racing is the example of racing video games that has cars and bikes. Ferrari is an example of a car that usually use on this game and Road Bicycles is an example of bikes that also usually use for this game.
Characteristic 3: The racing video game is very famous these days, because it is very challenging and every gamer have a great feedback for this kind of games.
Example 3: Need for Speed, Real Racing, Fast and Furious are the famous racing games that are usually played by the gamers.
Basketball
Characteristic 1: Known for action and competitive game and playing the famous teams and famous basketball superstars.
Example 1: There are lots of basketball teams and basketball players on this video game. The example for this famous basketball team and famous basketball superstar on this video game is Cleveland Cavaliers and LeBron James. The example of video game that has this famous basketball team and basketball superstars is NBA 2k
Characteristic 2: This games have a great feedback from the gamers, because it is very famous nowadays
Example 2: NBA 2k provides great features like graphics, and actions that will make a person to love the game.
Characteristic 3: There are lots of basketball video games that are very known these days and has a great feature.
Example 3: NBA 2k, NBA Live are the famous basketball games nowadays, because it has a great graphics.
Soccer
Characteristic 1: Known for playing the famous soccer teams and soccer players.
Example 1: The famous team of this video game is FC Barcelona and the famous soccer player of this video game is Lionel Messi. The example of video game that has this famous soccer team and soccer player ins FIFA football.
Characteristic 2: It is also known for competing in a league.
Example 2: In this game there will be season and championship modes like the real world league
Characteristic 3: Playing this game are fun, because it is very challenging.
Examples 3: FIFA Football, Pro evolution soccer, FIFA street are common soccer game that usually played by the gamers.

Conclusion: Sports video games provides happiness and excitements, because It is based on the real world competition.

Please correct me if I'm wrong. Thanks

5 answers

Correct you? You haven't written an essay yet.
That's a classification and division prewriting it's not an essay
Can you give me some advice for this? what are the errors for this and i will fix it.
Write your first draft and then someone may be able to tell.

All the jammed together, numbered sentences make my eyes glaze over!

Throughout --
-- Make sure each instance of "it" has an identifiable antecedent. If you don't know what that is, look it up:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/index2.htm

-- You do not have a true thesis statement; study #1 in here and then rewrite it:
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html

Once you have your rough draft written, READ IT ALOUD FROM THE END TO THE BEGINNING and READ IT TO SOMEONE WHO HAS A PRINTOUT. This is the best way to find errors in sentence structure, references, spelling, usage, etc.

After you have edited and proofed it a couple of times, post it if you want someone to critique it for you.
PS -- This means one sentence at a time: READ IT ALOUD FROM THE END TO THE BEGINNING...