This is my conclusion to my surveillance essay. Can someone help me revise this or suggest any changes. I tried to make the conclusion as mature as possible to be a college/ university type of conclusion. Any further suggestions would be much appreciated.

Question

*I used "society" multiple times. What can I use to replace "society" for the sentence to still make sense?
* What else can I say other than "people's lives" ?
_____________________________________________________
1.) A surveillance society strikes a slight fear to civil liberties. 2.) The establishment of a supervision system imposing on society instills a fear factor, threatens privacy, and minimizes freedom. 3.) A monitoring device affects society and people's lives in general. 4.) While the creation of an espionage-like society begins and increases, concern, uneasiness, and anxiety remains. 5.) An observation system not only conflicts with society, but it profoundly impacts human daily activities.

Answer 1

1. I'd eliminate "slight."

Check this site for synonyms.

http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/society?s=t

Answer 2

plz help me my english is not good i feeling bad help me i read 1st year icom 1 part so i wish my english is so so gud plz rply me

Answer 3

that conclusion was even more of a fail than the attempted murder of the pope -__-