I am guessing that "I" language is a way to show your needs/concerns when communicating with someone without appearing to blame or judge the other person. For example:
Instead of saying, "You need to act better" and "You always do this" and making the other person defensive, say "I would like it if we didn't argue so much" and "I am offended when this happens". It is just manipulating words in order to get another person to cooperate better.
For your paper, I am assuming that you just need to write about three instances where you used this "I" language technique. The teacher won't know if these stories are real or not. I may be wrong about what this "I" language is, so make sure you read your textbook and find out what it is.
This is homework for communications class, and I'm not sure what the hell I need to do. I need to get a good grade, because I'm not doing to well.
Please help.
Here is what to do.
Using I language
Practice using I language. Use it at work, school, home with your family, any where you find it appropriate.
For your paper, write about three situations where you have used I language. Tell the situation, what you said and how the other person responded. Finally, tell if you thought I language was helpful.
I Language
As you read in Chapter 6, using I language can help you to create a positive climate in a relationship. It is amazing how one word can make a difference in how smoothly a conversation will go.I language is a skill that will allow you to use language in a way that opens communication. It is can be used at times when someone has upset you or has aroused a negative feeling in you, or at times when you want to show someone appreciation. When using I language you take responsibility for your feelings and communicate them to the other person without putting him/her on the defensive. You want to avoid using you language.
2 answers
Like Lilith, one version of "I" language is to accept the responsibility for what you think and feel, in contrast to "you" language, which leads to closing off effective communication.
More specifically, it can involve three parts
"I feel... (describe what emotion you feel — angry, happy, disappointed, confused, etc.).
"... when... (described the specific behavior that elicits this feeling in terms of what can be sensed — seen, heard, felt, smelled).
Effect on you.
Example: "I feel hurt when when I'm not invited to go on a shopping trip, because it leads me think that I am being rejected."
"I feel elated when you cook my favorite meal, because it makes me feel special and loved."
The three parts do not need to be in a specific order.
Here is an article that talks about "I" messages in a couple's relationship:
http://www.members.cox.net/dagershaw/lol/adjust.sex.htm
"If this helps you to satisfactorily complete your assignment, then I will feel satisfied, because my attempt to help you will have been successful." (How's that for an "I" message?)
More specifically, it can involve three parts
"I feel... (describe what emotion you feel — angry, happy, disappointed, confused, etc.).
"... when... (described the specific behavior that elicits this feeling in terms of what can be sensed — seen, heard, felt, smelled).
Effect on you.
Example: "I feel hurt when when I'm not invited to go on a shopping trip, because it leads me think that I am being rejected."
"I feel elated when you cook my favorite meal, because it makes me feel special and loved."
The three parts do not need to be in a specific order.
Here is an article that talks about "I" messages in a couple's relationship:
http://www.members.cox.net/dagershaw/lol/adjust.sex.htm
"If this helps you to satisfactorily complete your assignment, then I will feel satisfied, because my attempt to help you will have been successful." (How's that for an "I" message?)
1 answer