So my teacher says that I need to fix these three paragraghs from the Story "I Want to be Miss America".

Question

Here it is below:

A Pageant setting would encompass glamorous venues adorned with stage lights, runway platforms, and seating for audiences. Contestants would be seen preparing backstage, adorned in elegant gowns, makeup, and hairstyles, exuding confidence and poise. The judges' panel, comprised of distinguished individuals, would evaluate contestants based on criteria like talent, poise, and communication skills. The main topic revolves around aspirations, dreams, family dynamics, cultural adaptation, and generational differences.
As the story progresses, the daughter encounters challenges and obstacles that test her determination and resilience. These challenges could include intense competition from other contestants, self-doubt, and the pressure to meet the expectations of the pageant world. In the middle of the story, the daughter undergoes significant character growth and transformation as she navigates the complexities of the pageant setting. She may learn valuable lessons about herself, her aspirations, and the importance of perseverance in the face of adversity. Ayesha encounters a myriad of challenges that test her determination and resilience. These obstacles, ranging from intense competition to self-doubt, push Ayesha to confront her fears and insecurities, ultimately leading to her growth and transformation. Their dynamic may evolve as they face challenges together, highlighting the strength of their connection and the support that sustains the daughter through her journey.
Throughout the narrative, the relationship between the daughter and Shahida deepens. Their bond strengthens as they face challenges together, emphasizing the unwavering support and love that sustains the daughter throughout her journey. Shahida's perspective at this stage may express a mix of pride, love, and admiration for her daughter's resilience and growth. She reflects on the shared moments of struggle and triumph, highlighting the profound impact of their familial connection. As the story nears its conclusion, Shahida's words may encapsulate a sense of fulfillment and joy as she witnesses her daughter's determination culminate in her participation in the Miss America pageant. The narrative can convey Shahida's deep emotional investment in her daughter's success and well-being.

My teacher says I need to be Describe I need Dialogue and detail.
Also, my teacher says write as if I were in the Story from my view.
Can you help me write those 3 paragraphs over again?
Also, I was a friend of the daughter.

Answer 1

As I entered the dazzling pageant venue, I couldn't help but marvel at the glamorous setting. The stage lights illuminated the runway platforms, showcasing the elegance of the contestants as they prepared backstage. I watched as my friend, Ayesha, exuded confidence in her elegant gown, flawless makeup, and beautiful hairstyle. She radiated poise and determination, ready to take on the challenges of the Miss America pageant. The judges, with their distinguished presence, evaluated the contestants based on criteria like talent, poise, and communication skills, setting the stage for an intense and thrilling competition.

As the story unfolded, I witnessed Ayesha face numerous challenges that tested her determination and resilience. From the fierce competition with other contestants to the self-doubt and pressure of meeting the expectations of the pageant world, Ayesha navigated through it all with grace and strength. It was in the midst of these obstacles that I saw Ayesha undergo significant character growth and transformation. She confronted her fears and insecurities, learning valuable lessons about perseverance and the importance of staying true to oneself.

Through the ups and downs of the pageant journey, I saw the bond between Ayesha and her mother, Shahida, deepen and strengthen. As they faced challenges together, I witnessed the unwavering support and love that sustained Ayesha throughout her journey. Shahida's perspective reflected a mix of pride, love, and admiration for her daughter's resilience and growth. Their shared moments of struggle and triumph highlighted the profound impact of their familial connection. And as the Miss America pageant drew near, I could sense Shahida's deep emotional investment in her daughter's success and well-being, her words encapsulating a sense of fulfillment and joy as she witnessed Ayesha's determination culminate in her participation on the prestigious stage.