So I posted something like this about my introductory paragraph. I have my conclusion and was wondering if you could tell me if I have a good conclusion with restating my thesis and closing it all up. I will show you my introduct and conclusion so you can compare.

Question

Introduction:
“The American dream is, in part, responsible for a great deal of crime and violence because people feel that the country owes them not only a living but a good living.” (Abrahansen) Not everyone agrees with this quote, but it truly portrays three of the main characters, Gatsby, Daisy, and Wilson, in The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Through out the book, these three characters are destroyed by their desire to fulfill their American dream, the ultimate in love and money. Each of these characters "has", but that is not enough. As the story progresses they are destroyed by their desire for "the best". Each of these characters started out with a living. Some were better than others but none the less they had a living. As the story progresses they wanted more than a living, they want a good living.

Conclusion:
Clearly, materialism and love got the best of Tom, Gatsby, and Wilson in The Great Gatsby. Their American dream started out well but soon over took them and became unrealistic. If they had had a more realistic dream then they would have been more content with their life and not have gotten into an excessive amount of mental and physical pain. Most consider dreams to be a good thing, for these characters their dreams got the best of them and turned their American dream upside down.

thanks

Answer 1

Hans or Jim or whoever,

Are you really looking for help? Or do you plan to do what you wish anyway?

Did you even read GuruBlue's response?
http://www.jiskha.com/display.cgi?id=1299354430

Did you read what I posted?
http://www.jiskha.com/display.cgi?id=1299357473

As I said before, there's no way to tell if an intro or concl is good without reading the rest of the paper.

Answer 2

I agree with Writeacher.