Rewrie the following as a Journal and remove irrelevant things to be put in a journal

Question

For my monologue, I chose the character Mandisa from the Showmax series, The Wife. Mandisa is a vibrant extrovert—brave yet scorned and resentful. She has fought hard for every good thing in her life. Mandisa is the long-time girlfriend and “baby mama” of Nqoba Zulu. She has been exposed to the harsh realities of the sex work industry and yearns for the acknowledgment of being the wife of a man with whom she has been in a long-term relationship.

I have watched all the seasons of *The Wife*, and in each one, I only saw Mandisa’s family once during the ‘inhlawulo’ ceremony, which refers to the damages paid to a woman’s family when she becomes pregnant out of wedlock. This leads me to believe that she has lacked family support and guidance since childhood.

As a result, she learned to be independent and navigated her way into the sex work industry to make a living for herself. Throughout her journey, she has had to confront clients who refused to pay her after their encounters. It was during this time that she met her boyfriend, Nqoba, and experienced unconditional love for the first time. She fights diligently to preserve that relationship.

Considering all that, I tried practicing speaking lines with different emphasis to explore how Mandisa's feelings might change her voice by saying the same line with anger, love and desperation. This helped because I was able to make conscious choices about how to deliver lines.

I also identified real-life experiences where I felt betrayed, scorned, or yearned for love and acceptance, which was difficult because my experiences and Mandisa’s experiences are different but they all led to the same feeling or decisions. I reflected on those moments without judgment and drew parallels to Mandisa’s experiences. Through my research, I realized that Mandisa was unconsciously seeking acceptance from her boyfriend’s family. She wanted to be treated like one of them, but they consistently ignored her presence.

There was a time where Mandisa’s boyfriend cheated on Mandisa and that time Mandisa’s boyfriend had a large amount of money that him and his brothers were going to use to bribe a police commissioner for the release of the older brother’s wife, so Mandisa got angry and burnt all the money. Honestly, understanding this step was not difficult because I myself believe in revenge and I know how it feels being betrayed. So this came in more naturally in me. In the scene I did, Mandisa's intent was to prove everyone right, as they had always referred to her as an embarrassment and a violent woman. Although her superobjective was to win their approval, everyone gets to a point of being tired, especially if your efforts are not appreciated.

There’s absolutely nothing Mandisa has not done for the Zulu brothers, she has cleaned their dirty money, buried dead people’s bodies for them and all that, but despite them not showing appreciation she doesn’t stop. So when I was looking for an accommodation for next year I kept on messing things up on the Quattro app, unintentionally obviously because I was so impatient but I didn’t. So I kept on going back to that moment of wanting something so bad and not getting it to understand Mandisa’s objective.

• Amen! Amen! Akusemnandi! yhi! hayi lanto!“ = This line sarcastically expresses excitement and sets out the mood so I said it in a joyful rhythm
• The 3 short, direct sentences that follow increases urgency and reflects her confusion and disappointment, so I’m not saying them fast, there’s just no pause in between.
• So sithi aba ngoku baby, singaba bantu siyaqhathana thina soyi2, andisabizwa ngoku xa kukhona amtheku apha? = The rhythm shifts to a more serious tone
• Andifuni uhlisa…sunditshela uba mandihlise umoya wena ngomlomo wam, unomlomo obolileyo ngoluhlobo wena uxoka kum, ude uthandaze ukwazelaphi uthandaza? = more chaotic, rapid rhythm that illustrates rising anger
• Yibirth certificate because ndiye ndazixelela into yoba yaz yintoni Mandisa, khawuthathe umntana wakho umbuyisele kulefani ifan'uba yiyo. = it slows down, building emotional weight

When rehearsing alone in my room, I would always stand in front of the mirror and imagine that it reflected the people I was speaking to. I would observe my facial expressions to ensure they matched the feelings of the character at that moment. I also paid attention to my movements, noting how my hands were moving and everything else involved.

Of all five senses to draw from, I only utilized one: the aural sense, as it best fit my monologue. For instance, there are lines where Nqoba repeatedly tells Mandisa, my character, that she’s crazy without grasping her reasoning. This reminded me of times when I tried to make someone understand my feelings, but they dismissed me, saying I was just exaggerating, which was incredibly frustrating. Additionally, there's a moment when Nqoba tries to explain to Mandisa why she wasn't invited, claiming he was about to call her. I've experienced situations where I've been told lies, and I can see through them. Even when I convey my disbelief, I often find myself saying, “It's fine, let’s just move on.”

While rehearsing my scene, I visualized every line every line as a vivid picture and asked myself questions about what each line represents. What images come to mind? And how those images impact the delivery of lines. This helped me connect with my partner by sharing a common visual language.

Answer 1

Journal Entry: Reflections on Playing Mandisa in "The Wife"

Today, I dedicated my reflections to the character Mandisa from the Showmax series The Wife. Mandisa is a vibrant extrovert with a complex emotional landscape; she embodies bravery but also carries feelings of resentment and scorn. As Nqoba Zulu's long-time girlfriend and “baby mama,” she navigates the harsh realities of life, longing for acknowledgment as his wife after enduring significant struggles.

One significant realization I made during my exploration of Mandisa's character is her isolation due to a lack of family support, evidenced by her minimal family presence in the show. This absence led to her independence and forced her into the sex work industry as a means of survival. Her experiences of betrayal and her yearning for love felt deeply relatable, prompting me to reflect on my own experiences of feeling scorned and rejected.

In preparing for my monologue, I experimented with different vocal emphases to convey how Mandisa's feelings might influence her tone. Focusing on lines filled with anger, love, and desperation allowed me to consciously choose how to deliver them. I found parallels in my life where I've experienced betrayal, and that connection deeply informed my performance choices.

One scene that resonated heavily with me was when Mandisa discovered her boyfriend's infidelity and responded with a fierce act of defiance by burning money he planned to use for bribery. This moment struck a chord with me, as I've grappled with feelings of revenge after being hurt. Like Mandisa, I understand the impulse to prove others wrong, especially when they’ve consistently overlooked or belittled my efforts.

As I rehearsed, I stood in front of the mirror, imagining it reflected Mandisa’s emotions. I paid careful attention to my facial expressions and movements. The nuance of her lines, such as the various rhythms and tones I needed to emphasize, helped establish the urgency and chaos of her emotional state. For example, I felt the difference in expressing joy with the line “Amen! Amen! Akusemnandi! yhi! hayi lanto!” while shifting to a serious tone in “Andifuni uhlisa…”

I also tapped into my aural sense throughout this process, recalling interactions where my feelings were dismissed, much like Mandisa's experiences with Nqoba. Lines where he dismissively calls her “crazy” felt particularly poignant, echoing moments from my life where I was invalidated.

Visualizing each line as a vivid image during rehearsals enhanced my connection to Mandisa’s narrative. I asked myself what emotions and visuals each line evoked and how they informed my delivery. This exploration has not only deepened my understanding of Mandisa but has also enriched my acting experience, allowing me to embody her complexities with greater authenticity.

Ultimately, portraying Mandisa has been both challenging and illuminating, shedding light on themes of love, betrayal, and the thirst for acceptance. I look forward to further developing my understanding of her character as I continue rehearsals.