Reposted for a numerical grade.
Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.
Independent people—those who rely on themselves rather than on others—get what they want through their own efforts. Interdependent people combine their efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their goals. To be most effective, people need to be interdependent. People who do not think and act interdependently may achieve individual success, but they will not be good leaders or team players.
Adapted from Stephen R. Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Assignment:
Is it necessary for people to combine their efforts with those of others in order to be most effective? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
Recently, the India Deal was passed in Congress with overwhelming bipartisan support. It gave India access to nuclear technology to help quell its energy needs. This move also earned the US a powerful ally. Had the two countries not worked together, the deal would have never been reached. It is necessary to combine efforts with others to be more effective as seen through my experiences with school theater, and through the formation of the EU.
At my school, the seniors, the juniors, and the underclassmen each create a unique theatrical production called SING! As a junior last year, our mission was to beat the seniors (the win over the underclassmen was guaranteed). Since this is purely a student-led production, things were in disarray at first. The seniors devised a strategy to win; they let everyone split up into their respective group (dance, props, etc.) to work on their assignment to perfection. On the other hand, we decided to hold practice by integrating everyone and working together. On performance night, our production meshed together like clockwork. The seniors fumbled relentlessly, barely being able to keep everything tied together. We had just pulled off a successful upset because of the work of our combined efforts.
Theater originated in Greece, a country that was once the most powerful in all of Europe. Though this did not remain the case, Europe itself developed into a powerful collection of countries. Then the US rose to become a superpower and Europe in turn seemed powerless. As a strategic and effective move, the European Union was formed-an organization consisting of most of the countries in Europe. This helped dramatically stimulate the European economy as a whole, and gave Europe leverage against the US. This balance of power would not have been achieved had the countries continued to act independently.
As effective as joint efforts may be, it is not employed enough in daily life. The bipartisanship seen with the India deal was a rare instance of unison between the Democrats and Republicans. Only when miscellaneous differences are cast aside will the full potential of combined efforts become apparent.
2 answers
The introduction of the second argument with the history of Europe is somewhat bizzare, and weakens the arguments.
Overall, your arguments were weak, in my opinion in that they did not support the question of MOST effective. It is a difficult argument to make, no doubt, and that is why it was chosen. Most students fall short analysis of the best way, or the most effective way. Considering the difficulty of the premise, and first draft marking criteria
Score: 3