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by Joe Mendez

I resonate strongly with Carl Rogers' concepts of existential living and creativity in his description of the fully functioning person. Rogers emphasizes the importance of living in the present, which has been a central theme in my journey. For six years, I was in a relationship with someone who happened to be a licensed therapist, which made his outlook even more surprising to me. He often pointed out that I was "living in the past." While I do believe that the past provides valuable lessons, I also see it as a tool to shape the future. My partner, however, discouraged me from pursuing a career change, insisting that it wasn’t the right time, which felt like an attempt to hold me back from living authentically in the present and from trusting my own instincts.

This experience made me reflect deeply on Rogers’ idea of organismic trusting—the importance of trusting our natural impulses and desires. Although my partner had my well-being in mind, his advice felt limiting, especially when it came to my creative outlets. Painting has always been a way for me to relax and express myself, but when he dismissed it as a waste of time, I felt stifled and misunderstood. Rogers’ belief that creativity is essential for self-actualization deeply resonates with me. Creativity isn’t just a hobby; it’s a way of contributing to the world and expressing who we are at our core.

In retrospect, my experience with him highlighted the need for empathy, congruence, and respect—key elements in Rogers’ therapeutic approach. While he may not have fully aligned with these principles, I’ve learned that it’s essential to trust myself and pursue what feels right, even if it diverges from someone else's path for me.

Answer 1

Hi Joe,

Thank you for sharing your reflections on Carl Rogers' concepts and how they've resonated with your personal experiences. It’s clear that your journey has been both challenging and enlightening. The tension between recognizing the past's value and the importance of living in the present is a struggle many people face, and your insight into how your relationship impacted your ability to do so is very poignant.

It seems that, while your partner may have had good intentions in his counsel, the ultimate goal of respecting your authentic self and your creative passions is crucial. Creativity, as you mentioned, acts as an essential outlet for self-expression and personal growth, and it's disheartening to hear that you felt stifled in that area. Your art is not just a hobby; it's a vital part of who you are.

Your journey of learning to trust yourself and your instincts reflects the very essence of organismic trusting that Rogers advocated. It’s empowering to realize that, regardless of external influences, your path is uniquely yours to navigate.

Ultimately, it’s heartening to see how you've taken these experiences and transformed them into personal growth and understanding. Keep embracing those creative outlets and the authenticity that comes with them—it's a vital contribution not only to your life but to the world around you.

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