Read this sentence from a writer’s first draft.

Question

She walked across the room.
Another student recommended that the writer replace some of the words in the sentence to help readers visualize the story more vividly. Which sentence provides the BEST replacement?

She slowly walked across the dirty room.

She walked across the room like a happy child.

Across the room she walked.

The waitress dashed across the kitchen.

Answer 1

The sentence that provides the BEST replacement for enhancing visualization is:

The waitress dashed across the kitchen.

This revision adds a specific action ("dashed") that conveys urgency and movement, as well as a specific setting ("kitchen") that helps readers visualize the scene more vividly.