The soldiers walked through the rain as they approached the canyon. They’d been traveling for days to reach the dragon’s lair. Finally they arrived. Then the dragon approached, and it roared. Yet, the soldiers faced off with the dragon, despite the noise.
Which is the best critique explaining why Henrique should revise the paraphrase?
Henrique needs to change the sequence of events to be in a logical order.
Henrique needs to add some descriptive language to make the story come alive.
Henrique needs to add some dialogue to make the point of view consistent.
Henrique needs to change the point of view to make the sequence clearer
1 answer
The best critique explaining why Henrique should revise the paraphrase is:
Henrique needs to add some descriptive language to make the story come alive.
While the basic events are outlined, the paraphrase lacks vivid imagery and emotional depth, making the story feel flat. Adding descriptive language would enhance the reader's engagement and help create a more immersive experience.
