1. I remember when Ben first had the idea for a community garden. 2. We were walking home from school past an old abandoned dirt lot. 3. Ben stood and stared through the fence for awhile lost in thought. 4. I thought he was acting strangely. 5. I was walking by the dirt lot again, and there was Ben digging up the dirt with a shovel.
Which is the best revision of sentence 5?
We were walking by the dirt lot again, and there was Ben digging up the dirt with a shovel.
The following Saturday, I was walking by the dirt lot again, and there was Ben digging up the dirt with a shovel.
I was walking by the dirt lot again, and there was he digging up the dirt with a shovel.
Finally, I was walking by the dirt lot again, and there was Ben digging up the dirt with a shovel.
1 answer
The best revision of sentence 5 is:
The following Saturday, I was walking by the dirt lot again, and there was Ben digging up the dirt with a shovel.
This revision adds clarity about the timing of the event, enhancing the narrative by indicating that some time has passed since the previous events described.
1 answer
9 answers
1 answer
1 answer