Read the following passage: I can’t decide whether to go to the Beyonce concert next month. She is my favorite singer. I’ve saved enough for the ticket. The trains stop running at midnight. I don’t know how I’d get home afterwards. Which revision below most effectively uses transition words to create coherence? I can’t decide whether to go to the Beyonce concert next month. To begin with, she is my favorite singer and in fact, I’ve saved enough for the ticket. However, on the other hand the trains stop running at midnight, which would mean that I don’t know how I’d get home afterwards. I can’t decide whether to go to the Beyonce concert next month. She is my favorite singer, and I’ve saved enough for the ticket. On the other hand, the trains stop running at midnight, so I don’t know how I’d get home afterwards. I can’t decide whether to go to the Beyonce concert next month. First, she is my favorite singer and I’ve saved enough for the ticket. Second, the trains stop running at midnight, so I don’t know how I’d get home afterwards. I can’t decide whether to go to the Beyonce concert next month. For example, she is my favorite singer. I’ve saved enough for the ticket. In contrast, the trains stop running at midnight. I don’t know how I’d get home afterwards.

Answer 1

The best revision that effectively uses transition words to create coherence is:

"I can’t decide whether to go to the Beyonce concert next month. She is my favorite singer, and I’ve saved enough for the ticket. On the other hand, the trains stop running at midnight, so I don’t know how I’d get home afterwards."

This version clearly balances the positive reasons for attending the concert with the negative consequence of not having transportation, creating a more cohesive flow of thoughts.