Read the following passage: He was the clear winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship. Hanyu won after he performed more snowboard tricks than the people who didn’t win. Unlike them, Hanyu got more height off the snow. The winner did the most difficult snowboard tricks. Which revision below most effectively uses referents to create coherence? He was the winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship by performing more, higher, harder tricks. Hanyu was the clear winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship. He performed more tricks than his competitors, and with a higher degree of difficulty. Hanyu also got more height off the snow than anyone else. Hanyu was the clear winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship. To begin with, he won for performing more tricks than his competitors. Next, he showed a higher degree of difficulty than them. Finally, he got more height off the snow than the rest. Hanyu was the clear winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship. He performed more snowboard tricks. He had more height. He did the most difficult tricks.

Answer 1

The revision that most effectively uses referents to create coherence is:

Hanyu was the clear winner of the snowboard halfpipe championship. He performed more tricks than his competitors, and with a higher degree of difficulty. Hanyu also got more height off the snow than anyone else.

This version maintains clarity by consistently referring to Hanyu, uses varied sentence structure for flow, and logically connects his achievements to explain why he won, thereby enhancing coherence.