1. Mr. Thompson loves teaching science. 2. Every single day, he becomes very excited about what he is talking about. 3. He waves his hands around, and asks, “Isn’t this amazing?” 4. All of his students love his enthusiasm.
What problem needs to be fixed in Denise’s narrative?
Denise needs to add a strong example of Mr Thompson’s enthusiasm.
Denise needs to include herself as a character in the narrative.
Denise needs to add a time relationship between sentences 3 and 4.
Denise needs to change the pronoun “he” to the pronoun “we.”
1 answer
The problem that needs to be fixed in Denise’s narrative is: Denise needs to include herself as a character in the narrative.
While the current passage provides a description of Mr. Thompson and his enthusiasm for teaching, it lacks a personal connection or perspective from Denise herself, which is essential for a personal narrative.
