lol
i guess me only reading it wasn't enough :P
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssssssse read my short story, it's
down here, and I need to have it read by ppl.
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Due tomorrow? It really is pretty sappy. And misses many important points. This is from the viewpoint of the guy ONLY, to have a story, one has to weave both individuals into it with some thread, either irony, or else. On that, I missed the point.
oh come on now mr.bob, that's a little too harsh. it was fine! if he included both veiwpoints it wouldn't be a short story anymore
thanks for tellign me I guess I got to fix it. I really needed that but it wouldn't be that good when you can tell what the girl is thinking. That is why I wanted to surprise the reader by having the girl reject him. Please tell me what I should right. It's due tomarrow
if he included all that then it wouldn't be a short story anymore
I would love to read it and comment but where is it?
It is close to the middle. U'll see it its the one with millions of comments and replies lol.
At least include what the girl was thinking as he leered at her, and what she was thinking when she answered. Did she expect him to ask? Does she have a conflict?