please help me if my letter is correct in the grammar.

kindly help me to make a good letter.

march,21,2011

subject:sales commission

to: THE MANAGER

DEAR SIR,

SIR,I AM WRITING YOU DUE TO NEXT WILL BE MY ANNUAL VACATION AND I WOULD LIKE TO ASK A FAVORABLE REQUEST REGARDING MY SALES COMMISSION FROM THE MONTH OF OCT.2010.I AM SHORTAGE OF FINANCIALLY AND MY FAMILY HAS NO INCOME IN THE PHILIPPINES.I AM GOING ON VACATION ALTHOUGH I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BRING BECAUSE MY FAMILY IS LONGING AND MISSING MEAND SOME IMPORTANT MATTERS NEEDED MY PERSONAL APPEARANCE.SIR,KINDLY PLEASE I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP IN ORDER TO RELEASE THE COMMISSION FROM THE MONTH OF OCT.2010.I HAVE NOT RECEIVED A COMMISSION FROM THE MONTH OF OCT.2011.I HOPE THAT YOU WILL HELP REGARDING THIS MATTER.IT WOULD BE A GREAT GRATITUDE AND I APPRECIATE YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR KIND HELP AND CONSIDERATION.

THANK YOU AND EST REGARDS.

JESSIE

SALESMAN

2 answers

First of all, please retype that using correct English capitalization and punctuation. Then I'll read it for you.

Using all-caps is unacceptable -- online and in business.
Agreed. I did not read past the first few words because of that.