Question

Please check my poem for word choice:
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"Heartbreak" By Snow
H ills and mountains of bitter resent,
E ach time it comes, there's only sheer pain,
A nd the sun no longer shines.
R adiant tears slice across the cheeks,
T rust disappears and hatred sneaks in its place.
B reaking apart from pleasure and joy.
R ealizing the truth is painful.
E very time it visits, it stabs your chest without mercy,
A nd it pounds you with an unruly force,
K illing the heart with emotion, and shattering the soul.


A bit dark, I know, but I need this poem to strongly depict emotion. Please help me and suggest any changes.

Answer 1

I specifically need word choice checking for the verbs so I can convey the feeling the strongest. (As my teacher said.)