I'd change "feel" to "believe." (Feelings are different from beliefs!)
I'd change "them having" to "their having" to follow the correct "possessives with gerunds" wording.
http://guidetogrammar.org/grammar/gerunds.htm#possessive
———————-
Life expectancy can be influenced by a number of factors, including access to quality preventive health services. There are other factors, such as lifestyle, diet, violence, and accidents. Life expectancy at birth in the U.S is lower than comparable countries. <~~You need to add data and your source here. It's not a good idea to make sweeping generalizations without facts! Many people in the US do not exercise or eat healthfully. <~~You need to expand on that last sentence, too. Add + and - examples.
———————-
Remember, you're writing about a country that has over 327,000,000 people. Generalizations are rather risky.
Please check my answer thank you.
Do you think the correlation to other countries that have a longer life has more to do with the lifestyle choices that these individuals make?
My answer
Yes, I do feel that lifestyle choices these individuals make do contribute to them having a longer life expectancy. ( partly some people are poor etc) I am not sure how to word the rest.
My notes
Life expectancy can be influenced by a number of factors, including quality of care, access to preventive health services. There are other factors such as lifestyle, diet, violence and accidents Life expectancy at birth in the U.S is lower than comparable countries. Many people in the U.S do not eat healthy or exercise.
1 answer
1 answer