Ok. I hope you can take critism.
The letter is not effective.
Why are you putting your name in the text? You should have it at the bottom, below signataure.
I'm is not an contraction you should be using. I am is much better.
The second sentence seems to be run-on. It makes no sense..
I am an agent for DP he wrote..it's about..
Goodness. One could choke on all that.
I would say something like this: I am sending you today the book " ", by Dave Pelzer which is a chronicle of his challenges with his biological parents.
I wonder why you use the word biological parents, if upbringing would do, or parents would do, make it simple.
I think... Do you really believe a publisher cares what you think? Say is it an interesting read, grabbing your emotions, and hard to put down once started.
The last two lines are just plain cheezy. Cheese does not sell books. Reword all that, it is just plain awful.
Persuasive Writing Assignment: Imagine that you are an agent who is interested in publishing new authors. Choose any book you like and present the book to a publisher in New York. You want to be the person responsible for putting the book on the shelf. You should convince the publisher that the book is well worthy and will do well once it is published. Use persuasive language and details from the book to prove your point. You will be graded on the following: persuasive language details from the book, and include three paragraphs containing at least 4 - 5 sentences each. Also, make your essay look like a letter by include a salutation at the beginning of your essay (such as Dear Sir or Madam, or To Whom It May Concern, or make up a name such as Dear Mr. Smith,), and include a complimentary close at the end of your essay (such as Sincerely, or Sincerely Yours, or Yours Truly,) and include your name at the end.
this is what I have so far
Dear Mr. Joe
My name is Amanda Kingston I’m an agent for a new author Dave Pelzer he wrote a book called "A child called it" it's about his childhood and his challenges with his biological parents. I think it is very interesting to read it keeps you hooked by how much it touches your heart. It’s very hard to put down once you read the first page, it makes people also notice that you should be grateful of the life you have because it could be a lot worse.
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