My essay, the writing centre told me that my introduction essay was not to the point of being a succesful student. So I changed it.

Question

Here, could you please help me rephrase it ..

My two most important points are the TWO STEPS : Daily and punctual attendance and dedication to course work.

The rest, I was just trying my best to form a subject, what my introductory paragraph really means is that college is not how students fear it to be, they usually look for easy ways out, and think there would just be a lot of studying and what not.. but in truth if they follow these two steps.. it will bring them success.

Here we go >>> Note: It is an Illustration essay.

Many students fear the thought of college, it is not only the transition from high school that intimidates them, but large classrooms, two hour seminars and worse part, the fear of failure. Hence either many students take gap years to ease their fear or many students drop out because they can not handle it. But in truth college is not that hard, there are only two essential steps to becoming a successful college student: daily and punctual attendance to class and dedication to your course work. By following these ,regardless of your age, ability, or even lack of concentration, soon you become an A grade student without much further effort.

Writeacher · Answer

First of all, fix all run-on sentences: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/runons.htm Second, revise so that "you" and any of its forms are removed. Then re-post.

HM · Answer

Many students fear the thought of college. It is not only the transition from high school that intimidates them, but large classrooms, two hour seminars, and worse part, the fear of failure is what keeps them from going. Hence either many students take gap years to ease their fear, or many students drop out because they can not handle it. But in truth college is not that hard. There are only two essential steps to becoming a successful college student: daily and punctual attendance to class and dedication to your course work. By following these, regardless of his or her age, or ability, a student soon becomes an A grade student with out any further hard work.