How can the sentence be revised to eliminate cliche and include sensory language without changing the meaning of the sentence?
a. Ming-na approached the door with her heart jackhammering in her chest, she paused because the acrid scent of smoke assaulted her nostrils
b. Ming-na walked up to the door scared out of her wits: she didn't open it because the acrid scent of smoke assaulted her nostrils
c. Scared, Ming-na approached the door; she didn't open it because smoke tickled her nostrils
d. Ming moved slowly to the door scared out of her wits; she paused because the acrid scent of smoke assaulted her nostrils
1 answer
Option A is the best choice for revising the sentence to eliminate clichés and include sensory language. It effectively conveys Ming-na's fear and incorporates vivid sensory details, such as "heart jackhammering" and "acrid scent of smoke."
So, the revision would be:
A. Ming-na approached the door with her heart jackhammering in her chest; she paused because the acrid scent of smoke assaulted her nostrils.
