so what is your question?
why do you open a memo by saying " I am sending this memo"?
Why not get to the point: We have received confirmation....
I would have added a telephone number for Deb walker, email is slow when one is in a hurry.
Memorandum part.
Draft an interoffice memorandum to Miriam Hopkins, the Director of Human Resources:
A. Assume that you've received confirmation from Jeremy Dittmer for the date, time, and materials needed. The trainer he has assigned is Deb Walker (e-mail: Deb.Walker@blah blah etc.......
B.Outline the arrangements you've made, providing explanations as needed. Your goal is to assure her that you've covered all the details.
C. Invent any additional details as needed
BROADWORTH GENERAL HOSPITAL
Interoffice Memo
TO: Miriam Hopkins, Director of Human Resources
FROM: Shawna Parker, Administrative Assistant
DATE: March 22, 2012
SUBJECT: Sexual Harassment and unlawnful discrimantion in the workplace seminar
I am sending this memo to let you know we have received confirmation from Jeremy Dittmer for our Seminar to be held on September 14, 2012 at 10 am. The room has been reserved for 20 of our supervisors and they are required to bring pens, pencils and notebooks to take notes during the session. The trainer selected for this seminar is Deb Walker, she specializes in sexual harrasement and unlawful discrimination in the workplace. Refreshments have been scheduled by the hospital cafeteria to be delivered to our room at 11am. All materials needed such as a projection machine, pamphlets, and emergency call center numbers will be provided by the trainer.
If you have any further questions or concerns please do not hesistate to contact me or you can contact Deb walker directly by email at: Deb.Walker.ETC ETC
Shawna Parker
SP
3 answers
Double-check ALL spelling.
Delete "I am sending this memo to let you know" -- it's obvious and unnecessary.
comma after 2012
other commas needed - did you review that link I sent you before?
Fix the one run-on.
"she specializes in sexual harrasement and unlawful discrimination in the workplace" <~~this wording implies that she commits sexual harassment and unlawful discrimination... !!
space needed between 11 and am
Delete "I am sending this memo to let you know" -- it's obvious and unnecessary.
comma after 2012
other commas needed - did you review that link I sent you before?
Fix the one run-on.
"she specializes in sexual harrasement and unlawful discrimination in the workplace" <~~this wording implies that she commits sexual harassment and unlawful discrimination... !!
space needed between 11 and am
I'm all over it now Thanks guys !!!!!!! :) repost tomorrow !
1 answer