Make the Funniest high school valedictorian speech for me

Answer 1

Hello everyone,

I’m honored to stand before you as the valedictorian of our class. But let's face it, who likes valedictorian speeches? I mean, are we really here to listen to someone talk about how great they are for five minutes?

I’d rather talk about the real heroes of high school: the cafeteria workers who provided us with questionable meals that forced some of us to become vegetarian, the janitors who cleaned up after our messes, and the teachers who didn’t lose their minds from grading our endless essays.

To the parents, we thank you for the countless nights of embarrassing moments at football games and dances, and for always pretending like you weren’t crying when we got our first ‘F'.

To my fellow classmates, congratulations! We have all accomplished something tremendous, we have managed to survive high school. A few more years and we'll be joining the real-world problems like paying rent, taxes, and worrying about how we will repay our student loans.

To close this speech, I'd like to remind you all to enjoy your lives and that everything will be okay. Because let's be real, in 10 years, we'll all be sitting at a bar reminiscing about high school and the people that we used to be.

Thank you and have a good one!