Look at the pictures. Look at Einstein first. He is a physicist. Let's go counterclockwise. The next person is Namjoon Baek. He is the person on the top of the page. Look at the next person. Go counterclockwise, and you can see a person. He is Winston Churchill. The next person is Bill Gates. He is under Winston Churchill. Who is the next person? Helen Keller. That's right. She is Helen Keller. She is a social worker. There is a question mark in a circle. You should paste a photo and write down his or her name on the right. I have talked all the figures who are famous in the world history.

Question

Look at the pictures. Look at Einstein first. He is a physicist. Let's go counterclockwise. The next person is Namjoon Baek. He is the person on the top of the page. Look at the next person. Go counterclockwise, and you can see a person. He is Winston Churchill. The next person is Bill Gates. He is under Winston Churchill. Who is the next person? Helen Keller. That's right. She is Helen Keller. She is a social worker. There is a question mark in a circle. You should paste a photo and write down his or her name on the right. I have talked all the figures who are famous in the world history.
(Would you check the passage? Correct errors, please. Thank you.)

Writeacher · Answer

I would have you start combining some of those short sentences when possible. Here are my suggestions; compare carefully with yours:

Look at the pictures, going counterclockwise. Look at Einstein, the physicist, first. The next person is Namjoon Baek at the top of the page. Then you will see Winston Churchill and below him is Bill Gates. Who is the next person? Helen Keller. That's right. Helen Keller was an author and political activist. There is a question mark in a circle. You should paste a photo and write down his or her name on the right. I have included figures who are famous in the world history.