The grammar in the paragraph can be improved. Here is a revised version:
The measurement of the volume of hydrogen gas was inconsistent because magnesium was still in the process of reacting. The readings taken at 30 seconds were deemed unreliable. Additionally, the data obtained with the syringe was difficult to read with decimals, so whole numbers were used instead. This choice increased the overall uncertainty. Furthermore, throughout the three lessons of the experiment, the temperature inside the lab was not consistent. As temperature is one factor affecting the rate of reaction, these varying environmental conditions likely impacted all the other trial results.
ix grammar
Reading o the volume of hydrogen gas was inconsistent due to the fact that magnesium was in the process of reacting and reading at 30 seconds were deemed unreliable adding on with the syringe the data was hard to read with decimal so whole number was used which increased overall uncertainty. The period of experiment in three lesson the temperature inside the lab would not be consistent which means that all other trials have been affected with different environmental conditions as temperature is one factor of rate o reaction.
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