Yes, the research question is clear and grammatically correct. However, there are some improvements that can be made for clarity:
What is the correlation between changing the concentration of sulfuric acid (H2SO4) through dilution and its effect on the rate of reaction when paired with magnesium (Mg, 0.05), as measured by the volume of hydrogen gas produced?
is this research question clear and correct grammar
What is the correlation between changing concentration through diluting sulfuric acid (H2SO4) have on the rate of reaction when paired with magnesium (Mg, 0.05), as measured by the volume of hydrogen gas produced?
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