Question

In this study I will argue that prolonged exposure of social oppression and subjugation is the basis is for the African- American women limited participation in society’s political system. I will support my argument by providing a detailed analysis of the impact of social powerlessness and devalued racial identity focusing on racism sexism and economic oppression and its impact upon African-American women who experience these oppressions simultaneously. Thus, these experiences leave African American women drained from both creativity and vision, preventing them from achieving any form of power respectively.

Answer 1

Delete the first six words of the first sentence.

Rephrase the second sentence so that it doesn't sound like a 3rd-grader; get rid of the "I will do this and that" type of phrasing.

Commas are needed in the series in the second sentence.