I'm writing an essay and was wondering if this part was okay.

I was eager for this day to end and summer begin. Despite my eagerness, I was excited about the “surprise” guest the school had booked to make this day special for our graduating class.

Should I just say simplify it and say "I was excited.."

6 answers

Yes.

"Despite my eagerness" doesn't belong with "I was excited."

You could insert "though" after "excited."
Ok, thanks so much Ms. Sue!
I'm sorry to bother again but would this work?

Despite my eagerness for the day to end, I was excited about the “surprise” guest the school had booked to make this day special for our graduating class.
Yes. That's very good!
Ah Yay! Thank you (:
You're welcome. :-)