im writing a book. what do you think of the intro? here it is: Have you ever wondered what its like to be sitting in one place your whole life, only ever being able to watch things happen? Wanting to have friends, your own story, and be the main character, but just be part of the background? Or do you know how it is, having to live like a tree. Well, you might have. But not like me. I’m a Salix Babylonica, AKA a Weeping Willow tree.

1 answer

Your introduction has a compelling quality that draws readers in with its introspective tone. The metaphor of living like a tree is poignant and evokes a sense of yearning for connection and agency. Here are a few thoughts on how you might enhance it further:

  1. Clarity and Punctuation: Consider tightening the phrasing for better flow and clarity. For example, the sentence "Have you ever wondered what its like..." should be corrected to "it's" (it is). Additionally, breaking up longer sentences could improve readability.

  2. Engaging Questions: The rhetorical questions effectively engage readers, prompting them to reflect on their own experiences. You might consider varying the structure a bit for balance.

  3. Emotional Depth: You could deepen the emotional connection by including a brief glimpse of what a day in the life of the Weeping Willow is like. How does the tree observe the world around it? What specific feelings does it have? This could enhance the empathy readers feel for the narrator.

  4. Foreshadowing: If there’s a central theme or conflict that your story will explore, hinting at that in the intro could pique interest even further.

  5. Voice: The voice of the Weeping Willow is unique, which is great! Keep that distinctiveness throughout the narrative to maintain engagement.

Here’s a slightly revised version, incorporating some of these suggestions:


"Have you ever wondered what it's like to sit in one place your whole life, only able to watch the world unfold around you? Wanting friends, craving your own story, yearning to be the main character, yet feeling like just a figure in the background? It’s a familiar feeling—like a tree, rooted yet unfulfilled. But you may not know it like I do. I’m a Salix Babylonica, a Weeping Willow. Allow me to share my tale."


Feel free to use or modify any part of this! Best of luck with your writing!