You have two sentences here.
How about a much shorter thesis:
Ophelia reinforces the theme that women were weakminded and controlled by men.
I'm suppose to write an essay on the play Hamlet which connects one of the themes to a character in the play.
This is my thesis,
Ophelia, Hamlet's ex lover, is one of the main characters in the play Hamlet which re-enforces the theme that women were weakminded. Throughout the play, she allows herself to be controlled by the men in her life and in her last act of weakness she goes insane and commits suicide.
any suggestions to make it better? Should I be more specific and name the men in her life? I'm also still deciding whether i shouldn't include " and in her last act...." Any help would be appreciated, thanks
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