This doesn't seem like a short story to me. It is FAR too short, even for a short story. You need more interesting details and no doubt some dialog.
Check here to see what's missing and what needs to be expanded:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dramatic_structure#Freytag.27s_analysis
I would like someone could check my short story.
Thanks
One fall in the mid-1980s, Karla took some time off and got a ticket to visit relatives in Cuzco. She was fresh out of school and had begun working as an office clerk. On her return trip, she noticed a couple across the aisle, a soldier and a young woman, having a conversation. Eventually, Karla realized the two of them were not traveling together. The woman eventually got off the first station, leaving the soldier alone. Karla could not help noticing his good looks. When suddenly, he asked if he could look at the timetable that Karla was holding, and then if he could sit next to her so they could chat. Next they exchanged addresses and he said he would be in touch.
After a week, Karla still had not heard from him and had begun to think he'd forgotten about her. Then, on Saturday, the phone rang and the familiar voice asked if she would like to see a movie with him that evening. They had a few more dates but unfortunately he was assigned overseas. For the next few years, they corresponded and visited Karla on other furloughs. In 1987, they married.
Finally, they have been together more than 30 years, raising four sounds that now have sounds of their own.
1 answer