I want to write a sentence describing a mountain as serene and problematic, and also as dead and lively. I want the effect of having all four of those words, but they sound bad in a list one after another. How do I fix this sentence to be grammatically correct but still have the same effect of having serene/lively and dead/problematic linked to each other?
SENTENCE: "He journeys to a knoll in Oklahoma called Rainy Mountain, which he explains is a prominent landmark for the Kiowas that is both serene and problematic, dead and lively"
3 answers
The only thing you can do now is use that sentence as a springboard. Make sure the following sentences give specific examples of what you mean by each of those four words.
This leads into a later thesis that says the author views the mountain as representative of death and life. So i do expand upon what i mean by it.
Is it ok grammatically to say it is "serene and problematic, dead and lively"
or is that a comma splice? might just trash the sentence if it doesn't work right
Is it ok grammatically to say it is "serene and problematic, dead and lively"
or is that a comma splice? might just trash the sentence if it doesn't work right
It's not a comma splice. It's simply a way to connect adjectives in a particular way that draws attention to the parallels.
If that's not your thesis, then it should be later in the paper -- perhaps introducing the explanation of the seeming contradictions.
If that's not your thesis, then it should be later in the paper -- perhaps introducing the explanation of the seeming contradictions.
3 answers