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I need help writing this:

You’ve applied for a specific job in your field of study. The Human Resources Department arranges an
interview and tells you to bring with you a polished piece of writing for them to evaluate your writing
skills. The paragraph must describe one particular experience you’ve had that inspired you or guided
you to choose the type of position for which you applied.
Your audience is your potential employer and your purpose is to show you have thought carefully
about what and/or who has motivated you toward this career choice and why. In addition, you want
to convey your enthusiasm for this position as it relates to your inspiring experience. Take time to
think about what your audience wants to know and strive to reach a balance between informal and
formal business writing.

This is what i have so far:

I have always loved interacting with people, but the turning point for me, when I decided that I wanted to go into the PR field was in college. It was a specific professor who made me realize that the world of Public Relations was the world that I wanted my future career to be in. Her name is Dr. Cassie Burleson and she teaches Communications 101. The most important attribute a PR needs is the ability to build relationships with people.

2 answers

That would depend on what grade you are in. If you are in ninth or maybe tenth grade and under it sounds fine, but if you are above that age range I would suggest making it sound more professional and convincing if you really want a good grade.
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