I have to write a letter of intent to a college stating why I am a good fit for their journalism program. In the rough draft, I wrote this sentence:
"I follow current events on a casual, weekly basis."
How can I sound a little more dedicated to my approach in this statement?
3 answers
Leave out "casual."
I left out casual in the sentence, and it looks like a sentence fragment.
"I follow current events on a weekly basis. The kind of news that I would pay attention to would be the weather, natural disasters, sports, and most tragic events.
A couple of tragedies have made an impact on my life, such as the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting that occurred last December, and the September 11th attacks in 2001. I remember the aftermath of 9/11 like it was yesterday because it was devastating to watch and hear about people die from the World Trade Center in New York City, The Pentagon in Washington, D.C, and in rural Pennsylvania. The Sandy Hook tragedy made an impact ... 20 little children were shot to death multiple times by a gunman who was speculated to have Asperger’s Syndrome, and I have that disability. I can recall the story of Victoria Soto, when she was praised as a hero for saving her students’ lives in the face of danger. I keep track of professional and some amateur sports (ex. hockey, baseball, football, soccer, etc.) by watching most sports highlights on TV and the Internet. The reason why I pay attention to sports is because ..."
The paragraph needs more work
"I follow current events on a weekly basis. The kind of news that I would pay attention to would be the weather, natural disasters, sports, and most tragic events.
A couple of tragedies have made an impact on my life, such as the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting that occurred last December, and the September 11th attacks in 2001. I remember the aftermath of 9/11 like it was yesterday because it was devastating to watch and hear about people die from the World Trade Center in New York City, The Pentagon in Washington, D.C, and in rural Pennsylvania. The Sandy Hook tragedy made an impact ... 20 little children were shot to death multiple times by a gunman who was speculated to have Asperger’s Syndrome, and I have that disability. I can recall the story of Victoria Soto, when she was praised as a hero for saving her students’ lives in the face of danger. I keep track of professional and some amateur sports (ex. hockey, baseball, football, soccer, etc.) by watching most sports highlights on TV and the Internet. The reason why I pay attention to sports is because ..."
The paragraph needs more work
What does a sentence fragment look like??
That first sentence is fine. It has a subject and a verb and is a complete thought. "looks like" is not a reliable way to judge whether a sentence is complete or incomplete!!!
That first sentence is fine. It has a subject and a verb and is a complete thought. "looks like" is not a reliable way to judge whether a sentence is complete or incomplete!!!
0 answers