I have to write a book review on a captivity story that I've read. The instructions are:
'Choose a captivity story you know or have read, and share your findings about it in the form of a book review. Summarize the reason for the captivity, the main events of the captivity, and how the captive felt about the jailers. How was this captivity different from A Man Called Horse? [short story]. It should be atleast 2 paragraphs long'
This is what I got:
I am going to write about the captivity of Fortunato in Edgar Allen Poe’s short story, The Cask of Amontillado. In the story, the narrator, Montresor, opens the story by stating that he has been insulted by his acquaintance, Fortunato, and that he wants revenge without placing himself at risk. Montresor decides to use Fortunato’s fondness for wine against him. At a carnival fair, Montresor approaches Fortunato and asks him to sample Amontillado, a light Spanish sherry. Fortunato accepts, and Montresor leads him into a deep vault. There, they walk for a while and when they reach the end, Montresor begins to bury Fortunato in a wall.
Fortunato doesn’t like his jailor at all, especially because he makes him meet death and because he cheated him. I was shocked at the end of this story because that is a rather harsh way to seek revenge.
This story was written very well and I would give it 5 stars as it was fantastic; I recommend it to anyone who wants to read a good, suspensful story.
Is this OK?
Thanks
-MC
6 answers
The beginning of what you wrote is EXTREMELY wordy! Pare it down ... maybe like this:
In Edgar Allen Poe’s short story, "The Cask of Amontillado," the narrator, Montresor, begins by saying that...
Where else can you cut out repetitive words and phrases?
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/concise.htm
-MC
=)
-MC