I have to revise these sentences as if speaking to a 10th grade level in education. Can you tell me if these are correct:

Question

1. We must terminate all deficit financing. Revision: We need to end all debts.
2. We must endeavor to correct this problem by expediting delivery. Revision: Faster delivery will correct this problem.
3. A proportionate tax consumes a determinate apportionment of one's monetary flow. Revision:
Taxes can deplete a portion of one's bank account,
4. It is imperative that consumers be unrestrained in determining their preferences. Revision: It is important that consumers are able to have choices.

Answer 1

I put your revised sentences through Word's took to check readability level. You have revised these to grade 5 level, not grade 10.

Answer 2

... through Word's tool ...

If you use Word as your word processing program and don't know how to find the readability level of a piece of writing, let me know.

Answer 3

it is imperative that the consumers be unrestrained in determining their preferences

Answer 4

we must terminate all deficit financing