I have to revise sentences to eliminate illogical or overused coordination. Are the following sentences correct? Thanks!

The object of fencing is to be the first to touch the opponent five times, and a "president," who is sometimes assisted by a number of judges, officiates at competitions.

Revised: The object of fencing is to be the first to touch the opponent five times. A "president", who is sometimes assisted by a number of judges, officiates at competitions.

The next one I feel is correct and needs no revision: Generally, a fencer specializes in one of the three weapons, but some competitors are equally skilled with all three.

Thanks for any help!

1 answer

The first one is fine.

What is it that you don't understand here:
http://www.jiskha.com/display.cgi?id=1285530811

??