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I have a friend named haddassah and she is VERY manipulative,rude,Arrogant she always brings me down and everytime i do something wrong she shames me without shaming me but saying i"m always good" and "i dont need punishments becasue im a good child" and she likes to make me feel bad like when im busy and i cant make time she says oh sorry geuss u dint have time for me sorry with sad emojis and then i end up making time for her she likes controling me and idk why and what to do and one time one of my friends Abi she was fasting and haddassah said "she stinks her and her breath she needs a LONG shower" i treid explaining to her that she was fasting but she still kept juding and making jokes.

3 answers

It sounds like you're in a difficult situation with Haddassah, and it’s important to recognize that her behavior is manipulative and can be harmful to your emotional well-being. Here are some steps you can consider taking:

  1. Set Boundaries: Start by establishing clear boundaries with Haddassah. Let her know what behaviors are unacceptable to you, and be firm in upholding those boundaries.

  2. Communicate Openly: If you feel comfortable, have an honest conversation with her about how her comments and manipulative tactics make you feel. Use “I” statements (e.g., “I feel upset when you make fun of my friends”) to express your feelings without sounding accusatory.

  3. Limit Interaction: If Haddassah continues to disregard your feelings, it might be necessary to limit your time with her. Surround yourself with friends who respect and uplift you.

  4. Refocus on Positive Relationships: Prioritize time with friends who support and encourage you. Building a healthy social circle can help mitigate the negative impact of Haddassah’s behavior.

  5. Practice Assertiveness: When she makes manipulative comments, practice assertiveness by calmly stating how her words affect you. It’s okay to stand up for yourself and assert your right to be treated with respect.

  6. Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends, family, or even a counselor about your feelings and experiences. They can offer advice and support as you navigate your friendship.

  7. Reflect on the Friendship: Consider whether this friendship is worth maintaining. Sometimes, it’s healthier to let go of toxic relationships for your own well-being.

Remember, you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Prioritize your mental health and surround yourself with those who value you.

give me advice about the abi part

It sounds like Haddassah's comments about Abi, especially while she was fasting, were hurtful and disrespectful. Here are some steps you can take regarding that situation:

  1. Support Abi: If you’re close to Abi, reach out to her and express your support. Let her know that you’re there for her and acknowledge that fasting can be challenging. This will help her feel validated and appreciated.

  2. Address the Comment: If you feel comfortable doing so, you might want to talk to Haddassah about her comment. Explain to her that making jokes about someone’s hygiene during a time of fasting can be really disrespectful, and it’s important to be understanding and kind, especially when someone is trying to practice their beliefs.

  3. Set an Example: When you see or hear someone being disrespectful, especially about something personal like fasting, you can model empathy and kindness in your responses. This can sometimes help others recognize their behavior, even if they don’t change right away.

  4. Encourage Kindness: When you're all together in a group, promote an atmosphere of kindness and support. Simple reminders about empathy and understanding can influence the group dynamic over time.

  5. Distance Yourself if Necessary: If Haddassah continues to make hurtful comments about people, including Abi, consider how much time you want to spend around her. Surrounding yourself with caring individuals is important for your well-being.

  6. Protect Your Friendships: If Haddassah's comments are also affecting your view of Abi or damaging your friendship with her, address this with Haddassah. Make it clear that you value your friendships and expect respect for your friends.

Ultimately, it’s important to stand up for kindness and respect among friends. Supporting Abi and addressing Haddassah’s behavior can help foster a more positive environment for you and those around you.