8. linked
9. ... to emphasize that he is the only one able to govern.
10. comma after "crowd" -- rest is fine
11. Normally, we use "like" when it's not followed by a clause; use "as" or "as if" or any other variation when it's followed by a clause. (A clause has a subject and verb in it.)
12. The phrasing in parentheses is better.
13. "by his words" is best; "On the other hand," is better; "had acted" is correct.
I forgot to include the following statements. Thank you very much!!
8.He is linked/attached to the past
9.He gives this description of his father to underline that (or the fact that?) he is the only one able (or who is able) to govern
10. In front of the crowd (?) his words sound ineffectual.
11. He is a clown dressed up as a king (and not like)
12. He made the action of killing Caesar but this was in direct conflict with his heart (better: he killed Caesar in direct conflict with the direction of his heart).
13. Unlike Brutus, Antony is able to persuade the crowd through language (also:: by his words, through his rhetoric). In contrast/on the other hand, Brutus fails to persuade the mob that he had acted (or simple past? Acted) for the good of Rome.
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