i finished writing my intro and i'm working on writing my second paragraph in which i have to narrate my story as if i was telling it to another person.

Question

Here I go:

For eight years, i was born and raised in India. My family and i lived in an four story apartments which included seven other families and their kids in the apartment. All of our families were very close and we called eachother family because we have this huge history together. The parents knew eachother before the kids were born. While the dads went to work in the same company, the moms would get together and go shopping or gossip.

After a couple of years, all the kids were born and the kids became close like the parents. My friends and i would ride bicycles and we all went to the same school together. We attended a school that includes grades from preschool to grade twelve. we knew eachother since we were practically babies so i have this connection with them that i don't have with my other friends in USA. we attended eachother's first birthday parties. Our parents shared our first step and first word with eachother.

Now i kinda need help revising my paragraph espicially about the part of the parents. i think it would be cool to say that the parents were friends before all the kids were born and there were all together. I don't know if i'm going use everything in the paragraph but i'm just freewriting right

Ms. Sue · Answer

You're doing a good job. I've made some corrections -- especially capitalizing the pronoun I and separating each other into two words. When you finish writing and proofreading your essay, we'll be glad to help you then.

I was born and raised for eight years in India. My family and I lived in a four story apartment building which included seven other families and their kids. All of our families were very close and we called each other family because we have this huge history together. The parents knew each other before the kids were born. While the dads went to work in the same company, the moms would get together and go shopping or gossip.

After a couple of years, all the kids were born and the kids became close like the parents. My friends and i would ride bicycles and we all went to the same school together. We attended a school that includes grades from preschool to grade twelve. we knew each other since we were practically babies so i have this connection with them that i don't have with my other friends in USA. we attended each other's first birthday parties. Our parents shared our first step and first word with each other.