There is a subject-verb agreement problem in the first sentence.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/sv_agr.htm
The United States must increase its role in the global community by getting more involved with its efforts to ensure global peace and security through global communication such as with the United Nations, Global Summits and Conferences, through which negotiations and agreements can be reached and implemented that, would meet each nations interest who are involved. This sentence is WAY TOO LONG; you need to break it up into at least three sentences if you expect anyone to follow your thoughts successfully.
Immigration to the United States has brought cultural, economic, and religious diversity that must be addressed in order for the United States to maintain a position as a world leader. "must be addressed" how? You need specifics here.
The United States role in the global community was shaken with the current administrations unilateral approach to its foreign policies. There are two possession problems in this sentence; also you need to be specific -- what do you mean (in detail) by "unilateral approach"?
Go through the rest of your paper and look for additional places where there are general statements made without follow-up detail.
Also use this page for any further mechanical help you many need (such as with possessive nouns):
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/index2.htm
I am to explain the role the U.S. has in the emerging globl community. My response is below, could someone check to see if I am on the right track with my answer. Thank you very much.
The United States face many challenges in the global community. The United States must increase its role in the global community by getting more involved with its efforts to ensure global peace and security through global communication such as with the United Nations, Global Summits and Conferences, through which negotiations and agreements can be reached and implemented that, would meet each nations interest who are involved.
Immigration to the United States has brought cultural, economic, and religious diversity that must be addressed in order for the United States to maintain a position as a world leader. Instant global communications such as telephones, the Internet, faxes, Radio, and television makes it possible for immigrants to stay in constant contact with loved ones as well as for leaders around the world to be up to date with current events of neighboring nations.
The United States role in the global community was shaken with the current administrations unilateral approach to its foreign policies. September 11th is proof that without global communication with all nations no matter how big or small, and making sure that each interest are being heard, small groups within a nation can rise up and cause economic problem as well as damage our national security.
The role the United States has with trade in the global community needs to be reformed to not only insure our economic growth but that of other trading nations as well.
The United States role in the global community hinges on its ability to communicate effectively with other nations and understanding their cultural, economic, and religious backgrounds.
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