I'd give this a 4.
http://sat.collegeboard.org/scores/sat-essay-scoring-guide
I am rewriting the essay that is regarding to the memory prompt.
Essay
Life consists of memory and without it, people will have nothing to recall. Everyone at least have to remember something in order to initiate a conversation. Some might tell others their great time at the beach. This requires them to recollect what they did. Memories are like the chapters in a book, which is a person's life. A person's life contains the past, and the past is memory. Hence, memory is central as Bunuel believes.
This ideology is portrayed in Lord of the Flies. In this novel, a group of British boys are stranded on an island and become savages. Simon, who does not become a savage, reflects on his civilized life. He remembers that there are laws and authorities to govern the people. He also recalls how the kids fear the adults and learn to be civilized. This altered dramatically, but Simon is able to dig in his memories the human morality and maintain them. In times of crisis, he turns to his memories of the past to help him determine where to stand morally.
Another example of memory playing a key role in a person's life is demonstrated based on the Bible. People who are Christians are likely to turn to the Bible to seek help. They remember the teachings of the Bible and try to act accordingly. People can apply their knowledge in real life. For instance, if they break in to an argument with each other, one person might "...turn to the other cheek" according to the Bible. That is, not to fight back, but instead allow the adversary to attack the other cheek. Memory is part of a person's life. It clings to the person everywhere he or she goes.
As seen, memory directs a person. It creates a foundation, where a person makes a decision in accordance with it. Simon based on his memory to prevent himself from being a savage. Christians retain their knowledge of the Bible in order to do what is pleasing. Memory is the basis of life and without it there is no balance.
2 answers
As a rough draft, I would give it a 5 (it is supposed to be spontaneous componsition, rough draft).
Much better than what you started with. So the lesson learned, is...you fill in what you learned from this expercise.
Read the prompt, think about what it is asking.
Jot some notes on an outlne, and a couple of references or examples that come to mind.
write one sentence on the outline (thesis) stating what you want to tell them.
introduction
argument 1, example1
argument 2, example2
conclusion
Much better than what you started with. So the lesson learned, is...you fill in what you learned from this expercise.
Read the prompt, think about what it is asking.
Jot some notes on an outlne, and a couple of references or examples that come to mind.
write one sentence on the outline (thesis) stating what you want to tell them.
introduction
argument 1, example1
argument 2, example2
conclusion
1 answer