Hey ms sue can you please help me to simplify this paragraph?
Raynaud's disease occurs when the small arteries (arterioles) that serve the fingers, toes, ears, or nose go into spasm. When arterioles go into spasm, they cut off blood supply and cause digits (fingers and toes) or the tips of the ears or nose to turn white or blue and lose feeling.
I'm going to be reading this out loud and I hate presentations so I'm wanting to shorten this out somehow.
3 answers
I don't see how it can be shortened and still convey an effective message.
There are some repetitive elements in there. See if you think this works:
Raynaud's disease occurs when the small arteries (arterioles) that serve the fingers, toes, ears, or nose go into spasm. These spasms cut off blood supply and cause fingers and toes or the tips of the ears or nose to turn white or blue and lose feeling.
Raynaud's disease occurs when the small arteries (arterioles) that serve the fingers, toes, ears, or nose go into spasm. These spasms cut off blood supply and cause fingers and toes or the tips of the ears or nose to turn white or blue and lose feeling.
Thanks a lot Writeacher :)
3 answers