Had to develop a paragraph using clear, varied sentences containing concrete words and transitions or connectives to create a logical flow. Need assistance in the following paragraph that describes on particular experience I had that inspired you or guided you to chose that type of position which I applied for.

Question

What I have wrote this far:
I’m replying to your career opportunity posted on your website at Pocono Medical Center, East Stroudsburg, PA, in Medical Billing and Coding. Having the experience watching the care the hospital gave to my father-in-law during his stay was inspiring. In addition, the Billing Department handled my mother-in-laws questions, with care, and patience’s during this difficult time for her. After much research I knew I wanted to pursue the Medical billing and Coding program; and that Penn Foster provided that opportunity. Upon completion, I have gained the knowledge and proficiency in medical billing and coding program. I also have the ability to multitask, team-oriented, and work well under pressure. I am confident that I could make a valuable contribution to the medical team serving your patients and insurance companies in a timely manner.

Answer 1

Fragment; make it into a COMPLETE sentences:
Having the experience watching the care the hospital gave to my father-in-law during his stay was inspiring.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/fragments.htm

Watch capitalization -- when you do and when you don't need capital letters:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/capitals.htm

Use possessives properly:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/possessives.htm

Use apostrophes, commas, and semicolons correctly:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/apostrophe.htm
and
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm

Work on parallelism:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/parallelism.htm
and
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/semicolon.htm