FYI: It is in all caps because with this class our teacher recommends us to write this way because it's easier to read out loud.

Question

I revised it
A UNIVERSITY STUDENT RAN INTO HER PROFESSOR AT SCHOOL THE SAME DAY SHE PRETENDED TO BE SICK. NAOMI BUSH SAYS BECAUSE SHE DID NOT FINISH HER SPANISH PROJECT LAST WEEK WHEN IT WAS DUE. BUSH EMAILED HER PROFESSOR—AMY OLIVARES— PRETENDING THAT SHE HAD THE FLU SO SHE COULD HAVE EXTRA TIME TO FINISH HER PROJECT. BUSH HAS AN ENGLISH CLASS IN THE SAME BUILDING—BROWN HALL—ABOUT 15 MINUTES AFTER HER SPANISH CLASS IS OVER. AS SOON AS BUSH CAME IN BROWN HALL--- SHE RAN INTO OLIVARES ABOUT FIVE MINUTES AFTER HER SPANISH CLASS ENDED. BUSH SAYS THAT OLIVARES STILL LET HER TURN IN HER PROJECT THE NEXT DAY—BUT THIS WAS HER MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT—AND SHE WILL NEVER PUT HERSELF IN THAT POSITION AGAIN.

Answer 1

I can't read this.

Answer 2

That's unfortunate.. thanks for trying

Answer 3

This is better.

Incomplete sentence >> "NAOMI BUSH SAYS BECAUSE SHE DID NOT FINISH HER SPANISH PROJECT LAST WEEK WHEN IT WAS DUE."

This is too wordy. Please simplify it. >> "BUSH HAS AN ENGLISH CLASS IN THE SAME BUILDING—BROWN HALL—ABOUT 15 MINUTES AFTER HER SPANISH CLASS IS OVER. AS SOON AS BUSH CAME IN BROWN HALL--- SHE RAN INTO OLIVARES ABOUT FIVE MINUTES AFTER HER SPANISH CLASS ENDED."