Revised Sentence: "While driving on the Chesterton Highway, we saw a frightened bear being chased by several people."
Explanation of Changes:
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Comma after "Chesterton Highway": A comma is needed after introductory phrases. "While driving on the Chesterton Highway" is an introductory clause that sets the context for the main action of the sentence.
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Change "was seen by us" to "we saw": The original phrase "was seen by us" is passive and awkward. Changing it to "we saw" makes the sentence active and more straightforward, clarifying who is performing the action.
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Change "with several people chasing them" to "being chased by several people": This clarification helps specify the action happening to the bear. "Chasing them" was confusing because it seemed to imply that "them" referred to multiple bears, when in fact it refers to the bear being chased. The revised phrase accurately indicates that it is the bear being chased by the people.
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Capitalization of "Chesterton": Proper nouns, like "Chesterton Highway," need to be capitalized for correct grammar.
Overall, the revisions improve clarity and flow while ensuring grammatical accuracy.