According to the speaker's presented data, we spend about 60% of our communication time listening, but we only retain about 25% of what we hear.
If I am imagining a crowded space like a public bus or an auditorium with multiple conversations happening simultaneously, I would likely apply filters such as language and cultural familiarity. I might pay attention to conversations in my native language or conversations related to topics I am familiar with. I would also filter out background noise and try to focus on specific voices or sounds that catch my attention.
Three ways the speaker claims we are "losing our listening" are through constant distraction, lack of focus, and the urge to interrupt. With distractions like smartphones and constant connectivity, our attention is divided, leading us to lose focus on the speaker. Additionally, the speaker mentions that our urge to interrupt and share our own opinions prevents us from fully listening and understanding the other person.
Silence can make us better listeners by allowing us to absorb and process information. By staying silent and not rushing into responding or interrupting, we give ourselves the chance to fully grasp what the speaker is saying and reflect on it. Silence also encourages the speaker to share more and allows for deeper conversations to take place.
Flipping the lever from reductive to expansive listening or vice versa can be helpful in various situations. For example, in a heated debate or argument, flipping from critical to empathetic listening can help deescalate the situation and understand the other person's perspective. Conversely, in a brainstorming session or creative discussion, flipping from reductive to expansive listening can encourage idea generation and open up possibilities by actively expanding on each input.
In peer counseling situations, the RASA acronym can be applied as follows:
- Receive: Ensure that you are fully present and focused on the speaker. Pay attention to both verbal and non-verbal cues, showing that you are actively receiving their message.
- Appreciate: Show empathy and understanding towards the speaker's emotions and experiences. Validate their feelings and make them feel heard and valued.
- Summarize: Reflect back to the speaker what you have understood from their message. Paraphrase or summarize their words to clarify any misunderstandings and show that you are actively listening.
- Ask: Encourage further conversation by asking open-ended questions to delve deeper into the speaker's thoughts and feelings. This helps to foster dialogue and shows that you are genuinely interested in understanding their perspective.
One of the speaker's tips for better listening that I am likely to try is to avoid interrupting. I often catch myself interrupting to share my own thoughts, and I understand the importance of letting the speaker fully express themselves before responding. By practicing this tip, I can give others the space they need to communicate effectively.
One tip that I am unlikely to try is to embrace silence. While I understand its benefits in listening, I find filling the silence with conversation or responses comes more naturally to me. However, I can see the value in cultivating patience and using silence as a tool to enhance my listening skills, so I may try to implement it more in the future.
Five Ways to Listen Better
According to the speaker’s presented data, how much time do we spend listening? And how much do we retain?
The speaker mentions that as we listen, we apply filters, such as our culture, language, values, beliefs, and expectations, to help us decide what to pay attention to. Imagine you are in a crowded space, like a public bus or an auditorium with a lot of different conversations and other sounds happening at once. Describe the crowded space you are imagining and then explain which filters you would likely apply in that space to find a point of attention.
What are three ways the speaker claims we are “losing our listening”?
How can you use silence to make you a better listener?
The speaker discusses listening positions, which are pairs of words to be used as levers, like active/passive, reductive/expansive, critical/empathetic as ways to modify the type of listening you are doing. Describe a situation where flipping your lever from reductive to expansive (or vice versa) would be helpful to your listening.
How can you apply RASA acronym to peer counseling situations? Describe how you would apply each letter.
Identify one of the speaker’s five tips for better listening that you are likely to try, and one that you are unlikely to try. Explain your choices.
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