Expand these notes into fluent sentences. Vary the length and pattern of your sentences and avoid 'then' and 'so'. Try not to use 'and' more than once.

Question

girl went to night club-proud of new ring-worth 500-ring loose on her finger-ring fell off-not noticed till next day-girl heartbroken-loss reported to ploice-girl returned to night club-saw something glinting on the ground-her ring-undamaged

A girl went to a night club wearing her 500 ring which she was proud of. The ring was loose on her finger and fell off. It wan't noticed till the next day when the heart-broken girl made a reprt to the police. She returned back to the night club and saw something glinting on the ground. There lay her undamaged ring.

Please tell me if this is correct, thanks

Answer 1

Do you mean the ring cost $500.00? If so, you need to add the $ sign in the sentence. Also the next clause should be "of which she was proud."

Check the spelling of "wasn't" -- use "until" instead of "till" (which means a place storekeepers keep money or to plow the earth) -- with "returned" in the sentence, delete "back" -- the rest is fine.

Answer 2

A girl went to a night club wearing her $500.00 ring of which she was proud of. The ring was loose on her finger and fell off. It wasn't noticed until the next day when the heart-broken girl made a reprt to the police. She returned to the night club and saw something glinting on the ground. There lay her undamaged ring.

Is this good?